Has it ever happened that even after someone has solved your problem, you have an uncomfortable feeling that the problem is still unresolved?
All those well-meaning friends, family and colleagues, offering their solutions – which can sometimes include telling you not to worry about it (gee thanks, if I didn’t need to worry about it, I wouldn’t be worrying about it) – might be inadvertently telling you that your problem isn’t a problem.
So, if your problem isn’t a problem, then why feel unresolved when those good solutions are offered? Perhaps it isn’t because your problem isn’t a problem. Perhaps it is because your problem, as you have presented it, isn’t THE problem.
So What Is THE Problem?
For example, I was lamenting that I have been struggling to figure out when to go to New York City to visit friends and family. My challenge is that I have a lot of travel coming up and it’s a lot of time and money flying back and forth. I have not been there, where I grew up, for a while. But it feels that no matter when I would go, I will be missing out on something important back in my current home.
A well-meaning person in my life helpfully considered my schedule and suggested that I piggy-back NYC to one of my other trips I already have going to the East Coast in order to minimize my expenses and time away. That was a nice, tidy, simple solution. So why didn’t I go for it? For some reason it just didn’t feel like it resolved my problem.
My problem is that I have wonderful people all over the world and I want to be part of their lives, and I want them to be part of mine. My problem is that we are all busy and it is hard to make up for a year away through only a four-day trip. My problem – THE problem – is how to maintain connections with my dearest and oldest friends that are meaningful when we do not see each other regularly.
Get Support In Figuring Out Your Probelm
Why are coaches sometimes a better go-to than a best friend, mentor or colleague? Because a good coach will help you dig deeper so you can figure out: what is THE problem you really are trying to solve?